Unlike my traitorous dog who has apparently moved on just fine without me enjoys swimming with my mom. He's still my dog you guys. We get him back next July.
Right, back to the car.
Story 1: When Trees Attack
So Lance and I are doing our month long "let's see how many relatives we can see before moving to Africa tour" and were driving from Orlando to Naples to see Lance's mom (Betty) and stepdad (Allan).
Well, it started raining. Then it started pouring. Then it really started pouring. Then a tree hit our car.
No really! The rain was really getting bad so I had slowed down considerably. I couldn't see two feet in front of the windshield. I was thinking about pulling over when I see what appears to be a large tree branch falling across the passenger side of the front window. Well that was that and I parked under the nearest overpass.
After several minutes of excited chatter, I got out and took several pictures which I clearly remember showing both Lance and Allan... but now can't seem to find. Instead I will include picture similar to what it looked like.
OK, maybe this photo is a bit of an exaggeration...
The rain slowed and we resumed our travels to Naples. Later inspection showed what might hoave been a flora induced scratch but its hard to tell. Kristin's Car 1: Nature 0.
Story 2: The Great Flood
So I'm visiting the local quilt store in Naples, as I am know to do in any town I'm in for more than 15 minutes, and it starts to rain. No big deal, this is Florida in the Summer and this sort of thing happens every day between 12 and 4. You get wet or you wait 30 minutes and the worst is over. (See story above.)
Well, this was a special day in Naples because that rain did not let up for several hours. I kid you not! It wasn't a little drizzle either. It consisted of solid drops that would soak your shirt in five steps. The customers commented on it. The store clerks wondered at it. I cursed it because look where my car just happened to be parked: 
Yes, some dingbat designed this parking lot with a low spot but no drainage! In Florida! According to the folks at the drug store (because, apparantly, I had some time on my hands to chat) this happens every time it rains for more than a few minutes and is particularly unfortunaye because the parking lot was just resurfaced last year. Words fail me. Actually, I had a few choice words I wanted to share with the owners of the mini mall complex but no one seemed to have their contact info other than to say they are part of a crime family in Chicago.
Yes, really.
So I waited out the storm until the water went down enough for me to open my door safely. Having seen a similar model/make drive past my car, in similarly deep water, I decided to attempt an escape. The car started, I sent a big "thank you!" up to the powers that be, and drove back to Betty and Allan's.
The next day... my car kinda stunk. This happens sometimes. Admit it, yours does too for whatever reason. I figured maybe some rain had gotten into the air filter and just needed to dry out. No worries.
The following day .... it stunk even worse. I mentioned it to Lance, who mentioned it to Allan, who recommended we check the floorboards for water... which was soaking my driver's side floorboards and mats.
The water had seeped UP from the flooded parking lot. Gravity ... smavity!
We took the mats out, rolled down the windows and parked the car in the garage with plans of bombing it with Fabreeze once the floor dried out. Perhaps we would park it in the driveway on a sunny morning with all the windows rolled down. You know what's coming already don't you?
So several mornings later, it was a sunny day and I moved the car into the driveway, rolled down all the windows and opened the sun roof. Betty, Lance and I sat down to a late breakfast several hours later and enjoyed the heck out of each other's company and commented on how odd it was that it was raining so early in the day. Two very wet minutes later, synapses fired and I ran out the door.
It was wetter than before. Back into the garage it went. Having only one more day until Lance and I were to drive back to my parents' house in Orlando, we sprayed it with Fabreeze anyway.
It was drivable. Smelled a lot better actually and by the time Lance and I left Orlando it seemed back to normal. Except for the tire marks on the hood and windshield.
Story 3: Don't drive while "tired"
Lance and I are back on the road, headed to Orlando. I'm cruising along listing to a book on tape and he is taking a snooze in the passenger seat. Ahead of me a see a car pulled to the side of the road and what appears to be chunks of tire in my lane. I'm in moderate traffic so there was no sense in changing lanes when I can just slightly adjust my trajectory to drive over the tire chunks. No big deal. Until some dingbat (again with the dingbats) inexplicably zipps in from of me, runs over the tire and sends several pieces back. These pieces ricochets off my hood and into my front windshield. There is one heck of a "Whomp!" and Lance wakes up. Hand print sized black smudges face him trough the windshield and I'm cussing in German.
"Ach du liba.....!"
The windshield smudges did come off. I didn't do anything to the hood smudges because, well, they are black on a black car and I was moving to Africa with more pressing items on my "to do" list. They may be there still.
So that last story wasn't really Mother Nature related. Tires were at one time made out of mostly rubber which is natural right?
Of course there also is the trend that story #1 and #2 both involved fast moving, dangerous objects hurtling toward Lance while he was sitting in the passenger seat. So, Ms. Nature could have been out to get him and my car saved his life! My car... husband saver.
So those are my stories. I'm writing them now lest the tree become a forest and the flood become a... well ... bigger flood next time I tell the story. Of course, it could have been worse... http://jalopnik.com/398128/for-sale-clean-mazda-miata-slight-water-damage
